What if _____ came to your house?

[Canadian Chimp]

Yeah, 90% chance you'd know what these are. But for those that don't...

You basically take some random thing from anything, and send it to the next poster's house. Then the next poster has to improvise what they would do when that person/thing comes to your house. Then THEY take something else....

It goes on forever.

Let's begin.

*A random insurance salesmen comes to my door*
RIS: KNOCKITY KNOCK KNOCK!
Me:...Whushuh?
RIS: HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!
Me: Isn't that a question?
RIS: ...IS IT?!
Me: Maybe it isn't.
RIS: WHAT?
Me: Who?
RIS: YOU!
Me: Me?
RIS: ME!
Me: Yes, you.
RIS: What do I want?
Me: You want to sell insurance on Mars.
RIS: I DO?!
Me: YOU DO!
RIS: I DO!!!
*He leaves*

*Bill Gatestbot (A robotic Bill Gates) goes to the next poster's house*

[Lemming]

*Refuses to buy Microshit Windows GENERIC EDITION, therefore destroying the bot*

Simple.

*sends vocalist of Dir en grey to next poster's house*

[Ice_Eagle]

Ice_Eagle: *answers door*
Vocalist of Dir En Grey: *sings song*
Ice_Eagle: Wow...you sing beautiful...*tips vocalist*
Vocalist of Dir En Grey: Arigato! *leaves*

*sends Magneto from X-Men to the next poster's house*

[Liebatron]

Magneto: Do you have any metal? These people are chasing me, but the person posting this forgot why they want me in jail.
Me: yeah, sure, here's some refrigerator magnets.
Magneto: NO! I need more metal than that! I need enough metal to drive back a mob of people. THIS WON'T DO!!!
Me: well there's a gigantic beam holding up my house that ~HEY!!! DID YOU MISS THE PART ABOUT IT HOLDING UP MY HOUSE OR ARE YOU DEAF?!?!?!?!?
* runs away with big support beam following him*


A guy with a mildly frustrated expression on his face who incessantly repeats "You Droped Your bag!..." with a wierd old-english-sailor/prisoner/evil-guy accent.

EDIT: And he's also pointing down with his right hand in an exaggerated motion.

[Timballisto]

DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: Hey...I thought I made that up.
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: That sounds exactly like how I did it...
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: Funny, I can come up with it, but you look the part perfectly!  Good work.
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: So anyhow, who are you?  I mean, I don't know you...what did my brother show you this or something?
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: Ahhh...I see, so he did show you it huh?
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR BAG!
ME: That's what  I thought.
DUDE: YOU DROPPED YOUR-
*Closes door on face*

A mob of hungry Norwegian hamsters has showed up on your doorstep

[Liebatron]

Norwegian Hamsters: *squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!(this translates into "we're hungry! give us food or become food!")

I ran to the kitchen and gathered up all the food I could, then I gave it to them.
Norwegian Hamsters: *squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*squeak!*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK*SQUEAK!!!!!*SQUEAK!("What? do you thing that's gonna fill us up? This is a MOB of hamsters. A MOB! THAT"S A TON OF HAMESTERS! MORE FOOD!")

I ran back inside and looked for more food, but since magneto destroyed my house, I didn't have any more, nor could I stem the tide of Norwegian hamsters when they decided that I was food since shutting the door had no effect. While I drowned in the sea of Hamsters, I saw a flash of the sun reflecting off of metal, as Magneto came through just in time to save me from the hamsters. After all of the hamsters were gone, I got up and started thank magneto. Then I remembered something and thought better of it.

Magneto: I was thinking about you, and your predicament of having a smashed house and decided to help ya out. Here's your beam.

*accidentally crushes me with beam

On my way over, I heard the commotion and decided I might be able to make it up to you by saving you... Hello?... Are you there?

*Groans*

Magneto: Ok, I was wondering there for a moment if you were ok, bye.

Then Magneto left me on my doorstep being crushed by a beam, with a crushed house and about 140,000,000 dead hamsters to get rid of and one live one to keep as a pet.


A living, breathing spoon that can talk and thinks that it's an insurance salesman.

[Ice_Eagle]

Ice_Eagle answers door.

Ice_Eagle: That's it! A spoon?
Spoon: I'm an insurance saleman and if you buy my insurance you will be okay!
Ice_Eagle: Who said that?
Spoon: Down here!  Buy my insurance!
Ice_Eagle: Ugh! Your handle is moving!
Spoon: I can breathe, dude! Buy my insurance!
Ice_Eagle: Thank you, but I already have insurance!
Spoon: BUY IT! BUY IT! BUY IT! BUY IT! (says x20 times)
Ice_Eagle steps on spoon, crushing it.
Ice_Eagle: You are just a spoon.
Ice_Eagle throws spoon in trash can.

Ice_Eagle: Okay, SpongeBob SquarePants, you're going to the next poster's house!
*sends SpongeBob SquarePants to next house*

[Liebatron]

Spongbob opens door

Me: How did you do that!??!?! My house got crushed, the whole front wall just caved in. You can't open a door that isn't there!
SpongeBob: I'm Ready! jellyfishing? Jellyfishing? I'm ready! I got a new net! Jellyfishing! New net! I'm ready! Jellyfishing? I got a new net! I'm ready!, etc...
I sit and stare as spongebob spouts nonsense, then proceed to whack him over his head with a piece of wood near me.
Spongbob: Yeah, thanks, I needed that, Jellyfishing? wait, wait no! it's coming back! I'm ready! I'm ready! whack me again! qui-I'm ready!ck!
I proceed to whack him again.
Me:spongebob, you're usually insane, but not unduly so, what's with you today?
Spongebob: I don't know, I just got back from-jellyfishing? I'm ready!
*Whack*
Spongbob: Hey I just realised that there's no water here...Can I have a glass of water?
Me: sure.
I walk inside the nonexistent house, go to the sink, which even though the pipes were all gone or broken, the sink still worked, even though the counter wasn't there.
Me: A floating sink...interesting...
I poured a glass of water, and walk back to the door. Strangely though, he wasn't there. I looked down either way on the road, and saw only one thing, a travelling sponge salesman with a wiggling sack on his back .

A tree. not a talking, moving tree or anything, just the doorbell rings, so you go to the door, and find that since you last looked at your doorstep, a tree has grown on it, a big one, but not like a rainforest tree or a redwood tree.

[Mr. K]

Mr. Ksoft opens the door and begins to walk out like he always does.

*smack*

OUCH.

*goes back into house*
*returns with chainsaw*
*cuts it down*

Now, let's suppose that Santa shows up at your door in the middle of July.

[Timballisto]

SANTA: Ho ho ho!
ME: Say...wait a sec...you don't exist.
SANTA: Ho ho- *poof*
ME: Hm, well that was easy.

*Walks back inside*

An English longbowman who was transported trough time has arrived on your doorstep.

[Liebatron]

The longbowman after much hesitation, decided to simply knock instead of using the glowing thing next to the door, which he for some reason felt would summon the house owner.
I open the door.
Longbowman: Hello, lad, would ye mind tellin' me where in blazes I am?
Me: Uhh..._{how do I explain this...}
Longbowman: Ok, nevermind that, all I want to know is if I'm anywhere near Valencia, I've got to get back to me regiment 'afore the battle is won!
Me: You are 600 years and about 12400 miles away from Valencia.
He looks at me with a confused expression.
Longbowman: Well now that ye've got all that gibberish outta your mouth, mayhap you can tell me what your meaning is?
Me: I mean exactly what I said, you've been teleported by Timballisto to my doorstep.
Longbowman: And I should believe ye why? How can I know if 600 years 'ave passed? How d'ya know all this stuff?
Me: I'm on a certain forum, so I know these things. And as for the 600 years, look behind you.
Longbowman: Now my eyes have truly seen all, a carriage that moves without horses.
Me: And look to your left, where those strips of metal are lying on the ground, they're called train tracks.
Longbowman: That..Is one, GIANT baggage car, rollin over those uhh...Thingy tracks you said.
Me: it's a train.
Longbowman: So, seein' as I've just got through 6 centuries without dyin', am I immortal or what is it? eh?
Me:mmm..I guess you are thinking back on it.
Longbowman: so how d'I get back?
Me: Somebody has to teleport you back, but first, lemme show you something.

Longbowman and I travel to Archery store.

Longbowmen: What is this fiberglass stuff? Any bow made of glass'd break instantly. wouldn't bend at'all.
Me: Try it out if you think so.
Longbowman: If you'll have that be the case, then the shillings are comin' from your own pocket.
I buy him a bow and an arrow, (also fiberglass) and he shoots it...Inside the building. Fortunately, nobody saw, and he hit the target anyway. I buy the target for him since he's already used it, and tell him that he can't shoot in many places in this time era.  Soon after trying it, he's spent all his shillings and all my money on fiberglass arrows and a spare fiberglass bow.

Longbowman: I be liking this stuff, now can I get back to me regiment , or am I cursed.. well this isn't reallly a curse, more akin to paradise, but can i get back to m' regiment now?
Me: sure.
Longbowman: Golly am I lucky, Wait until the rest of the reg' sees this thingymajig!
*teleport*
Longbowman: G'bye!
Me: don't forget to write!
Longbowman: be assured, I won't forget!
Me:bye.

I close the door.

A lemming -> :smiley:

[Chmera]

*the lemming walks into my door. *Whack**
*opens door*
Me: Who's there? *looks down, and sees the lemming, albeit unconscious, laid on the ground*
Me: Whuh? *picks it up*
Lemming: Squeak? *looks quizzical*
Me: Eeeeee! cy00t! *hugs it*
Lem: *looks downright confused now*
Me: *closes the door, and decides to keep the lemming as a pet or something*
-----
Not a lemming... A horde this time! All banging into the door.

[Liebatron]

Me: Can this day get any worse?...
*A mob of lemmings is heard marching, all stepping simultaneously, towards my house.*
Me: I think it's about to...
(BTW: because of the last couple things that came to my house, I am currently trapped under an I-beam on my front porch, and I was almost killed by a mob of Norwegian hamsters in an earlier post. This I-beam used to be holding up my house, which isn't there anymore. In it's place there's a pile of rubble. Also, there's a mob of dead Norwegian hamsters surrounding my house because xan Kriegor saved me from them)
lemmings: Hi, can you put a roof over our heads for a day or two? We're trying to get aaway from this green monster, whenever it gets close to one of use, it gets like HUGE man!! I mean like TOTALLY GIGANTIC!!! I think it wants to eat us all man! So can ya do that for us?
I walk inside and find that my computer is still intact somehow, I hook it up to my neighbors outdoor outlet, and I tell all the Lemmings to get in.
Lems: Thanks! How much do I owe you for this?
Me: nothing, Lemmings are too awesome to owe anyone anything except other Lemmings.
I turn around just as I see the last lemming scuttle around the corner of the screen and out of sight.
Green thing: Hi, did you see a bunch of things with green hair go by here with blue shirts on?

Technically, they're still here, so they didn't go by here.

me:nope.
green thing: ok, tell me if you do, ok?
Me: ok.

The green thing leaves.
The lemmings all come out of the monitor and start going the way that the green thing came from. Now, the green thing and the lemmings are going in opposite directions. The lemmings are saved! :tongue: Wait... They're walking towards a cliff with 14 bridgers left and no cursor nearby!
Me: CURSOR!!! GET OVER HERE! I FOUND YOUR LEMS!
the green cursor rushes over and saves their lives, and afterwards the cursor and the lemmings become lifelong friends.

the color green

[Ice_Eagle]

Ice_Eagle opens his door after a doorbell.

The color green is in front of him.

Ice_Eagle: What? What is this green in front of me? What is it doing? It's so bright.
Green: Hello, Icey.
Ice_Eagle: YOU TALK?! And how the heck did you know my nickname?
Green: Hehehehehehe...
Ice_Eagle: You're a weird green inanimate wall.
Suddenly, the color green jumps into Ice_Eagle. Ice_Eagle looks at himself and freaks out. He is covered in green!

Ice_Eagle: Oh, great. Now I'm Green_Eagle. I am so mad. How do I take this off?

While Ice_Eagle, or Green_Eagle, tries to figure this out, he sends Zeeky H. Bomb (check my avatar) to the next poster's house, hoping that the bomb could do anything about this green madness.

[Liebatron]

From past responses to this post, my house has been reduced to ruins, and there's an I-beam in front of it with me under it.

Me: FREE!! I"M FINALLY OUT FROM UNDER THE STUDID BEAM!! YEAHH~ :huh:~uh, oh, um...hi, what are you?

Zeeky H-bomb: ... ... ... Zeeky Boogy Doog!

*BOOM*


The piles of wood that were my house are now consumed in flames...
Where's the government intervention when you actually do need it?

-BTW that was referring to the topic about 1984.

The ocean