Random Story

[namida]

Suddenly the gun turned to Reverse Fire and hit Lemmy. His head was cracked open. He returned to the hospital again.

[Mr. K]

But they refused to take him in as a patient again. Lemmy was desperate, and then talked them into it by saying, "If I'm your patient, I have to pay you a lot, right? If yu don't take me, you'll get less money..." the hosptial sewed his head shut, and he went off again into the world.

[Ice_Eagle91]

He found a jar of Lemmy's blood. Lemmy drank it (EEW!!!) and got his blood back.

[Lemeri]

However, he found out it wasn't really his blood. He had to go to the hospital again.

[Andi]

"Excuse me, please. My blood-class is AA+. Do you have any conserves (I wonder if conserves is the right word)? It would be better you have, because with AB- blood it isn't easy to live and when I'm angry I often kill people."

[namida]

Lemmy randomly lost his temper and killed a retarded chicken. Then a Game Over screen popped up in front of him. He was asked if he would like to continue.

But he said no. He had had enough of this computer game, "The Hospital", and wanted to get back into the real world. But then he heard of this new game, called "Streetlight Wars", so he went and bought it.

He installed it on his hard drive, and started playing, only to be greeted by an error message, "You are too gay to play this game."

Lemmy was pissed. He had spent $149.99 on a game, only to find out he was too gay to play it. He started smashing it, when a thought entered his head. "Since when was I gay anyway?" he thought. "Uh-oh. I forgot. Ymmel was actually a boy. SH*T!" he said out loud.

So he grabbed a knife, and slit his wrists, multiple times. "I wanna f-ckin die!" he kept telling himself.

[Lemeri]

(STEAVER!!!!!)

So Lemmy went to Xan to be killed, for he was sure that the great one could do it.

[Lemika]

"So, kid, why all the blood running out of your wrists?" Xan asked him.
Lemmy jumped. "I didn't see you." then he looked down. "Oh, hey! There is a lot of blood! Perhaps I shall die on my own! Cool! Ah yes. I was trying to kill myself, because a random urge seized me, and a killed some dumb bird and got myself hospitalized again.
And that wasn't all. I bought a really dumb game, and it started inefectually insulting me. Except I took it badly and tried to kill myself."
He paused and looked around, and then he wondered where Xan went. He wasn't anywhere around.
Lemmy shrugged. He was standing in a puddle of blood. "I shall die," he said.

[Lemeri]

"No you won't, kid" said Xan's voice "Your demonic side is taking over, and you are becoming a demon"
"What!?" Lemmy shrilled "Xan! Xan, old buddy! You can't... You can't..."
"Why not Lemmy? Your demonic side is STRONG!"

[Lemika]

"Yes!" Lemmy bellowed. "STRONG! I feel strong again! The blood -- the blood -- it is fueling my EVIL POWERS!" he roared with laughter, ripping the bandages off of himself and dancing around in his blood.
" P sychotic demons! Hear me now!" he screamed. "I take the blood oath! I take it! Hah! Now, today, I fight beside you to --" he tripped and fell flat on his face.
"This happens to me too much," he muttered. "DEMONS! I SAID --"
He slid in his blood, and pitched over a railing. It looked like he would be falling a long way.
And then...

Edit - :Psychotic demons? O_o

[Lemeri]

'p' turns into  , for whatever reason.

He hit the bottom with a thud. He was dead. He felt a strange sence of...
"I've DONE SOMETHING!" Lemmy roared.
"You're not dead, kid" Xan remarked.
"Stop calling me kid, you walking trashcan!'

[Lemika]

"Walking trashcan? I'll walking trashcan you!" Xan roared, and stalked off.
Lemmy stared. "Oh man," he said. "I am a trashcan."
Then he managed to disbelieve the illusion (oddly enough, since he had believed it a few seconds ago) and wondered how Xan had managed to do that.
"I thought you were a robaaaaaaaaat!" Lemmy shouted, plunging even farther down the building.

[Lemeri]

"**** it kid," Xan snarled, catching Lemmy "Why do you think that robots are stupid?!" Xan pulled out a heavy tome marked 'My Spellz'.
"This is my spellbook" Xan told Lemmy.
"That? That looks like a sticker collection. And you can't even spell"
"AAARGGH!" Xan bellowed "That's it! I spent 500 hundred years making this book! And I won't see it insulted by the likes of you!"

[Lemika]

There was a breif sensation of hot flak puncturing his flesh, and then Lemmy knew no more.

Of course, he woke up in the hospital. "You are our best customer!" a grinning doctor was saying. "We make millions on bringing you back to life! You are our best customer! We don't ever want to fix you completely! We want more money!"
Lemmy snarled with pure rage, and hurled the doctor across the room. With a hoarse growl growing deep in his throat, Lemmy charged panting from the room.
He ran smack into Xan.
"No..." Lemmy moaned. "I'm, uh, like, totally sorry about the spellbook thing, dude. But I, ya know, couldn't, like, tell the difference, dude!" he shouted.
"Stop talking gibberish."
"Gibberish? Gibberish! Man, this is wonderful stuff!" Lemmy bellowed, twirling his false mustachios with one finger. He wondered where he had gotten those. "Probably that blasted doctor guy," he muttered.
"He's dead."
"Who's dead?" Lemmy asked.
"Sam."
"SAM?!"
"Yes, Sam's dead."
"SAM?!" Lemmy's jaw dropped in disbelief, and he stared slack-jawed at Xan.
"Yes! Sam!"
"Sam..." Lemmy's voice trailed off, and he slumped lifelessly to the floor.
"That was weird," a passerby remarked. "DOCTOR! DOCTOR! The patient has died again!"

And then...

[Lemeri]

"This," the doctor declared "Is getting on my nerves. Xan Kreigor, will you lead the pateint to your roach motel?"
"Yep"
"Roach motel? I didn't think you had one!" Lemmy snarled in rage.
"Calm down, kid. It's a phrase"
"PHRASE? How dare you 'phrase' me?"
"Easy. What daring would that take?"
"I will teach you!"
"I await the lesson."
And then Lemmy sprang up and slashed a long jagged tear through Xan's book.
Xan stared at it with a lost a dejected look, and then he looked up at Lemmy.
"Lemmy, you ruined it. 500 years of work. Gone in a single instant."
"It had to be done, Xan"
"You won't come back thise time" Xan promised grimly, and he...