Random Story

[Ice_Eagle91]

He was wearing an orange shirt and khaki pants. Soon, game-over screens surrounded him and attacked him. Then he was wearing khaki shirt, khaki shorts, khaki stockings, brown shoes, and a topee. He looked so ugly that he commited suicide and blood came out of himself.

[Lemeri]

However, a doctor rushed up and saved the poor little blighter's life. Then a grim faced judge came in and said 'Suicide is a crime punishable with death'

[Lemika]

"But that's ridiculous!" Lemmy protested. "If I kill myself, I'm, like, dead! You can't punish that with death! It's reduntant, and, and..." he started panting and wheezing. The judge stared at him.
"Suicide is a crime punishable with death," the judge grated again. Lemmy noticed a distinctly metallic edge to his voice now, and started to get suspicious. He reached one paw up, and grabbed hold of the judge's face --

[G3K]

*404 FACE NOT FOUND*

[Lemika]

Lemmy's jaw dropped. "N-no... el diablo..." he gasped, turned, and fled.
Eventually he tripped and fell flat on his face. It seemed to him like he was doing that an awful lot. And then he looked up, and saw...

[Lemeri]

Xan Kriegor.
"Howdy! You want some coffee?"

[Lemika]

"Xan Kriegor?" Lemmy stared in disbelief. "Dude, I've been severely injured, I'm on death's door, and you offer me coffee?"
"It's dosed."
"Dosed? Look, I've had enough of weirdos coming in and offering me weird things after weird stuff has happened to me, and I --" he broke down and started panting again.
"Don't have an aneurysm," Xan told him, and vanished with a bounding leap, leaving the questionable coffee behind.
Lemmy stared at the coffee, reached out a hand, and...

[Lemeri]

cursed violantly as Xan came back, snatched the coffee away, and poured it down a little hatch in his right arm.
"That hits the spot!" the robot high champion cried, firing a flak cannon into the judge, who was closing behing at that moment.
"Xan! You stole my coffee! You killed the judge! You wrecked my life!" Lemmy shreiked, on the edge of a breakdown.
"Yes, yes, yes, and no. I am Xan, I did steal your coffee, I did kill the judge, but I did not wreck your life. You did that yourself. Possess the right. Only then can one recive the gifts of Knowledge, wisdom, and peace."
"**** You! I'm lying on the ground bleeding to death and you qoute Yoshi to me?"
"Yep"

[Lemika]

Lemmy's vision blurred and swam. He was completely certain this had happened to him many times before, all of them recent. He was also sure his last sight would be Xan's face above him.
"My life... I won't hold out much longer!" he gasped, trying to claw his way to his feet, but not managing. "Do me... one favor..."
There was no reponse. Lemmy coughed up blood. "Burn my... body..."
He sank down to the ground, and was certain he was dead.

He wasn't. He did wake again. He was in a...

[Liebatron]

dream. his life was flashing before him through blurred vision and then suddenly he saw his own body on the ground and realised he was lifting out of it. soon he found himself in a white room with a disembodied voice in it. " do you wish for a second chance to vanquish your enemy, xan?"

lemmy agreed to try to earn his life back permanently by destroying his enemy.

[Lemika]

He realized, as soon as he woke up, that this was a foolish idea. He likely would not be able to defeat Xan Kriegor.
"Worth a try!" he said, cheerfully, and bolted from his bed to find Xan.

[Lemeri]

Xan was wating in the doorway with a flak cannon.
"Hah! Looks like you beat the reaper!" he cried "Well now, this is hardly fair, me with a flak cannon and you... You with only your hands! Hah!"

[Timballisto]

Lemmy went to Donkey Kong Country B) and then recruited some help.  He got Diddy, Donkey, Dixie, and K. Rool #1 & #2, and came back.  K. Rool #1 jumped around and threw giant cannon balls at Xan while running around like a giant retard.  K. Rool #2 used his advanced X238-LON gun to shoot reversed control, freeze, and slow clouds at Zan.  This really messed him up.  Then Dixie Kong slapped Xan.  It didn't do much.  Diddy ran around Xan in circles, confusing him.  Donkey went plain old right up to Xan and started whaling on him.  Then K. Rool #2 Launched 1' diameter spiked steel balls at Xan.  In short: Xan was toast.

[Liebatron]

timballisto posted right before i did so just add this on to the post before timballisto's.


Lemmy tackled xan and while xan was sitting there realizing that he had just been tackled by a weak fool half his size, lemmy took the flak cannon from him.
"looks like the tables have turned, i have you pinned on the ground with a flak cannon aimed at you!" proclaimed lemmy . suddenly, xan  changed his robotic arm (i think xan is a robot, am I right?) in to a mortar cannon and blasted a huge mortar bomb right by his left shoulder singeing him. lemmys vision started to blur and the world started to blur."NOOOO! not again!" shouted lemmy as he saw xan charging him with a mace in hand.
lemmy knew he would have to think fast. he grabbed the mace handle right before xan swung it, and swung over xan's head  at this point lemmys vision was beginning to clear up, he tripped xan and while xan was falling, grabbed the mace and to finish him off , lemmy swung the mace as hard as he could at xans head.
there was an explosion as the mace got halfway through the head piece and as he was flying through the air and his vision was blurring again he thought
"whoa!i must've hit the gas tank or something!well i did what i needed to do to live, i thought fast,UGH!"lemmys thoughts were brought to a sudden and abrupt stop .

[Ice_Eagle91]

"Oh the humanity!" said Lemmy.