Random Story

[Lemeri]

Yes. Me.

But Xan ran the mail server, and found the incoming mail.
"You were friends with that fool?" Xan asked Lemmy.

[Lemika]

[Actually, no. I was at the theatre all day yesterday, all of the evening the day before that, and most of today.]

"Weeell..." Lemmy said, shifting from foot to foot. "In a manner of speaking, yes. BUT THAT IS ALL OVER NOW!" he roared, suddenly springing on top of the table and pumping his arm up and down in the air.
"Right then," Xan said. "I just sent him fifty seperate peices of hatemail. I know you won't care!"
"Wha--?! Oh, ho ho, hah hah!" Lemmy gasped, and started screaming with laughter. "Hatemail! That's GOOD!"
"Not really. It's bad. And he thinks you sent it."
"Oh," said Lemmy.

[Ice_Eagle91]

But then Lemmalot replied:

Dear Lemmy,

 

From Lemmalot

[Ice_Eagle91]

(Lemmalot's a she.)

But then Lemmy's "girlfriend" Lemmy'ka (not Lem'ka!) sent him a message, saying:

Dear Lemmy,

I heard you killed Espio. Why? You are too rude enough to do it! You're like Garfield in Garfield the Movie! Please stop it! Or else:

PUNISHMENT!

From your girlfriend,
Lemmy'ka

Lemmy blocked her. He got so mad! But then his father sent him a message, saying:

[Lemika]

With a primal snarl, Lemmy blocked his former friend. "Xan!" he shouted.
"I'm still here, kid."
"Kill him! Please! I want to see him -- DEAD!" Lemmy crunched his mouse in one hand, a grimace of pure evil alighting on his face.
"Done," Xan said, and left.

[Lemeri]

Dear Lemmy,

I heard that you have become friends with Xan Kriegor. I hope this is just a bad rumor.

Dad

Lemmy snarled in pure rage and shot the computer screen until little sands began pouring out of it. He spent the next hour wondering what they where. Then Xan came home.
"Hi. I brought you the head of Lemmalot."
"OH THANK YOU XAN! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"
"No problem."
"I want you to kill Lemmy'ka too"
"OK. I never did like her."
So Xan went out and shot Lemmy'ka. Then he came home, and...
"Hi. I brought you the head of Lemmy'ka."
"OH THANK YOU XAN! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"
"No problem."
"I want you to kill my fathar too"
"OK. I never did like him."
And when that was done...

[Ice_Eagle91]

Xan felt surprised, because Lemmy's father is an actual robot. And so are the heads of Lemmalot and Lemmy'ka.

"Please kill everyone in the whole world!" said Lemmy. "I can't do that!" said Xan. "Why not?" "Because, your demonic side is growing strong...again!!!" "YES!!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

Xan was surprised.

[Lemika]

"All right then, kid. You know the drill. You kill them. I'll just get some popcorn and watch."
"Sounds like a plan!" Lemmy happily agreed. So Xan grabbed a large bag of popcorn, lounged on Lemmy's sofa, and watched Lemmy go about the process of destroying the world.
Fortunately, Lemmy didn't get very far before his powers started wearing off again. He'd used to much, so he ended up falling over unconscious in front of an ice cream parlor.

[Mr. K]

He woke up and saw the destruction around him. His evil mood had gone."WHAT. HAVE. I. DONE!!!!!?!?!?!?!" Lemmy scraemed. He dove onto the ground and started pounding the ground, crying like a baby. "How could I have done this!? It's unlemmingish!" He kept this up for hours, and then sobbed, "I must stop myself..." He picked up an old gun and shot himself in the heart. He died and went down to Hell.

[Lemeri]

But then he woke up in front of the ice cream place, and for a moment, he thought it had all been a dream, but then he saw Xan Kriegor standing there with a large bag of popcorn.
"Good stuff, this." Xan remarked "By the way Lemmy, my tally says you killed 1407 Lemmings in your rampage."
The words come up on the screen:
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy is WICKED SICK!"
"Lemmy was looking good till he killed himself"

[Lemika]

"Awesome..." Lemmy hissed, his red-glowing eyes riveted to the screen.
"You said it," Xan said. "You should do that more often. We've still got a bit of a population problem," he added, tapping a globe of the world with one metallic finger. "See? If you just bomb these areas, it'll be greatly helped..."
"But I don'wanna save the world! I wanna destroy it!" Lemmy wailed.
"All in due time," Xan replied.

[Ice_Eagle91]

"XAN! I WILL KILL YOU!" said Lemmy. He charged right at Xan when suddenly:

*ERROR: VIRUS IN XAN KREIGOR BECAUSE OF YOU!*

[G3K]

*404 XAN KREIGOR NOT FOUND*

Geez, at least make up your own jokes, Icey.

[Ice_Eagle91]

Okay!  O_O I changed it, cool guy!

Speaking of cool guy...I like it when you call me Icey!

[Lemeri]

Suddenly, Lemmy thought of what might be happening inside his body! He got the dry heaves.