The Joke Thread...

[Adam]

Okay, I'm feeling under the weather, and need some good jokes to perk me up, methinks!

Please just keep them relatively clean, 'cause we do have some younger people browsing!

I'll give you one I heard today:
A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move"

[finlay]

OK, let's see if I can remember it!

How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

How many giraffes can you fit in a mini?

None; it's full of elephants.

How do you get two whales in a mini?

Down the M4 and over the Severn Bridge.

How do you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge?

Footprints in the butter.

How do you tell if there's two elephants in your fridge?

Two footprints in the butter.

How do you tell if there's three elephants in your fridge?

Can't shut the door.

How do you tell if there's four elephants in your fridge?

There's a mini parked outside.

[namida]

What happened to the car when it fell in the river?
It got wet.